A tap, Gossage. I said a tap.
You're not introducing a film.
Louis
Mrs Wilberforce, I understand you have rooms to let.
Mam!
Can I go to the pictures, Mam?
-Mam? -Yeah?
-I've got a penny. -So?
If you give me 11 pence, I'd have a shilling.
You're not soft, are you?
Mam?
Oh, go on,Mam.
Our Titchie said she'd take me.
Oh, go on, Mam.
Eh, Bud, get me those nets...
out of the lads' bedroom, will you?
Okay, Mam.
Pass us a few bricks, will ya?
Oh, come on, lad. Where's those nets?
I want to wash them.
That's before he'll bring them down.
You little bugger!
If you were the only girl in the world
And I was the only boy
Nothing else would matter
In this world today
We would go on loving
In the same old way
A Garden of Eden
Just meant for two
With nothing to mar our joy
I would say
Such wonderful things to you
There would be
Such wonderful things to do
If you were the only girl
And I was the only boy
Go on. Get me purse.
Oh, thanks, Mam!
Today
We would go on loving
Your tea's ready, Kev.
Okay, Mam.
All right, Mam.
Hiya, Mam.
Hey, John, will you get the flatirons out for me?
Yeah, okay, Titch.
Where's our Bud, Mam?
The pictures. Where else?
Will you take us in, mister?
Will you take us in, please?
Will you take us in, mister?
Come on, lad
Thanks, mister!
I'll get you, Mavis!
What are you running for?
Tiddle Hodge was chasing me.
Why?
I was skitting him.
You be careful.
One day he'll catch you and give you a right go-along.
Tiddle-iddle-iddle
Tiddle-iddle-iddle Hodge
Ah, is this your daughter?
Got a boyfriend? Got a boyfriend?
It's smashing at the moment.
See that one there?
Went right up in the sky, and it hit me house.
-Ah, it's great. -Some fire.
Hey, watch what you're doing with them sparklers.
There's our John and Kevin, Mam.
-John! -Kevin!
Kevin!
John! Kevin!
Oh, yeah. Round the end. Nearly had the green one.
She stepped away from me
And she went through the fair
And fondly
I watched her move here
And move there
And then she went homeward
With one star awake
As the swan in the evening
Moves over the lake
Last night she came to me
She came softly in
So softly she came
That her feet made no din
And she laid her hand on me
And this she did say
It will not be long, love
Till our wedding day
Me dad used to sing that.
Granddad O'Brien?
Yeah.
Lock up, will you, Kev?
Okay, Mam.
Mam.
It was a man! It was a man!
It's all right.
You're all right.
It's your last term at Canon Kennedy's,
isn't it, lad?
Are you looking forward to going up to the big boys' school, Bud?
What am I gonna get for Christmas, Mam?
Don't be so nosy.
her little child
Makes your heart bleed, doesn't it?
Are you gonna help me with these things?
In the morning.
I've got to get a tree.
No, we got that little tree of our own.
Have you got the tree?
I think it's still in the attic.
You should give some of them decorations away.
You've had them for years.
No, I like these.
They've got a real history, haven't they?
It's Christmas.
Happy Christmas, lad.
Happy Christmas, Bud.
In those days they had time for everything
time for sleigh rides and balls...
and assemblies and cotillions...
and open house on New Year's.
Oh, the Hokey Cokey!
Knees bend, arms stretch, rah, rah, rah!
It's 12:00!
Should old acquaintance be forgot
And never brought to mind
Should old acquaintance be forgot
For the sake of auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We'll take a cup of kindness yet
For the sake of auld lang syne
For auld lang syne, my dear
For auld lang syne
We'll take a cup of kindness yet
For the sake of auld lang syne
And this pageant of the tenantry...
was the last of the great long-remembered dances...
that everybody talked about.
What's "kinershet," Mam?
What's what?
You know, in that song, "We'll take a cup of kinershet."
Oh. It's "kindness yet."
All the best.
All the best, Mr. Campbell.
Lock the back door, will you, Kev?
I already did before we went out.
Don't half panic, Mam.
Good night, Titch.
Good night, Mam.
God help anyone with no home tonight.
I wonder what 1956 will bring.
Put something cold on his neck.
Like keys. That'll do the trick.
Stay here until your nose stops bleeding.
Thank you, Sister.
Are you Povey?
I thought it was Povey.
Are you from Bernard Street?
No. Canon Kennedy's.
Who's a fruit then?
That's just to show you who's boss.
I'm Mr. Nicholls.
You play ball with me...
and I'll play ball with you.
Seconds!
I'm from Canon Kennedy.
Who's the fruit then?
Povey.
So what did he say to you?
It's a bit strong, isn't it?
What do you think of that?
-Have a smell of that. -It's too strong.
All right, I won't put it on.
-I paid for that! -Where did you get it?
Well, did you get me stuff for me?
Yeah, two pairs nylons, 15 denier
American Tan, fully fashioned
pan stick, and nail varnish.
-Majestic Red? -Yeah.
Imperial Leather, Picturegoer, and Picture Show.
-Evening in Paris? -They didn't have any.
Oh, what am I gonna do? I haven't got...
Here, Titch. You can have a bit of mine.
Pity it's not Chanel.
-Once in love with Amy
Always in love with Amy
Leave her alone, you two.
Take no notice of them, Amy.
They're just lettin' the soft out.
Her lips are much too close to mine
Take care, my foolish heart
Bud, would you go get us a packet of ciggies?
Is this 18 Kensington?
I'm looking for Mona.
No, it bloody well isn't!
This is 18 Kensington Street.
Kensington's the main road.
There's no Mona here.
Go on, frig off!
Thank you.
-See ya, Bud, lad. -Good night.
See ya, Bud.
Mam said don't be late.
If you shine the torch up into the night sky...
the light goes on forever.
Who says?
Our teacher.
Me and my shadow
Walking down the avenue
Go on up, lad. I'll bring the cocoa.
Oh, thanks, Mam.
And when it's 12:00
We climb the stairs
We never knock
'Cause nobody's there
Just me
And my shadow
All alone and feeling blue
This is the BBC Home Service.
Lift up your hearts. Our speaker this week...
is the Reverend
Come on, you four.
Make a shape. It's well past 7:00.
Jesus tonight, it's cold!
Hey, Bud, will you do me back for me?
You'll soon be grown up...
won't you, lad?
Go on, get washed, and I'll bring you your tea and toast.
Okay, Mam.
You're late.
Report to Mr. Bushell, the headmaster...
and then go upstairs to the nurse in room 10.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Why have you come?
Mr. Nicholls told me to report late, sir.
Come on.
In future be punctual.
Yes, sir.
Thank you, sir.
Lice.
Clean.
Lice.
Clean.
Oh! Christ, that's cold!
Okay, you can rinse it out now, Bud.
Oh! God blimey, it's scalding!
Oh, you little sadist!
Can we go to the second house, Titch?
Give us a chance, will ya?
I haven't even looked at the Echo yet.
Anyway, what's on?
Can we go to Young at Heart?
It's at the Forum.
Oh, I suppose so.
Oh, thanks, Titch.
-Go to Tyrers and get some sweets. -What sort?
Eh, Mis Shapes. Go on.
The money's in me coat.
-Are you ready? -Yeah.
Get your coat on.
We don't want to miss the beginning, do we?
Argh! Hey, Mam!
-Keep still! -Aw, Titch!
Aw, it stinks!
-Do you prefer having nits? -No.
Then you'll have to put up with the stink, won't ya?
There you are. All done.
All right, next.
First wet, Albie!
All right, Edna?
Oh, I'm dead chocka. Cook, wash, clean
that's all I do.
I never go anywhere. I'm like the bleedin' prisoner of Zenda.
Look at them hands. Putrid.
Hey, Mam, it's me dad.
Tell him his tea's in the oven and I'll be in in a minute.
Little Billy isn't half going like you, isn't he?
I know, poor little swine.
You could chop wood with my face, couldn't ya?
God blimey, what nature has in store for us.
-Hello, girl. -See what I mean?
Still on the electric, Curly?
-Nah, I spewed it. -Why?
He didn't like the fella, did he?
-How are you managing?
-Doing fine, Lize. -Thank Christ.
Otherwise we'd be eatin' fuse wire.
He's full of rhythm, though, isn't he?
Yeah, like St. Vitus.
You must realize
I don't even know who St. Vitus is.
Don't start doing those stupid bleeding impressions!
He does them good, though, doesn't he?
God blimey, don't encourage him.
If he thinks he's got an audience, he'll do it more.
I'm tormented enough.
Listen, kid, nobody nobody torments you.
But I'm gonna torment you. Why?
-Cause I'm Little Caesar. -Who's that?
Edward G. Robinson.
Sounds more like bleeding Cardew Robinson.
He does it to annoy me. Doesn't half get on me nerves.
Come on, girl, where's me scoff?
In the oven. Steak and onions.
Oh, I had that last week.
If you're not careful, I'll hit you with it.
Isn't it bleeding lively,
turning his nose up at steak and onions?
Some poor bastards never get it.
Tomorrow night it'll be dog food.
Sounds "ruff."
See what I put up with?
I should never have got married.
What the bleeding hell did I ever see in you?
-Mam! -Wha'?
-I'm hungry. -Oh, eat someone!
I'll swing for these kids one of these days.
Come on, soft ollies, we better go.
Have you heard the latest?
They're burying Catholics in Protestant cemeteries now.
They're dead, like!
The next bus will be along in a few minutes.
Be under it.
See you, then.
-Ta-ra. Curly. -Ta-ra
See ya.
-You need to shave. -So do you.
Ha, ha, ha! Stop messing!
-Andrews? -Present, sir.
-Horton? -Present, sir.
-Barnes? -Present, sir.
-Bedson? -Present, sir.
-Bell? -Present, sir.
-Clotworthy? -Present, sir.
-Crowley? -Present, sir.
-Davies? -Present, sir.
-Duckworth? -Present, sir.
-Dunne? -Present, sir.
-Ferguson? -Present, sir.
Your card.
Is it your ear again?
I suppose you've been picking at it, haven't you?
What nasty little creatures you little boys are.
If you snitch, we'll get you tonight.
Get into line.
S4, right wheel.
Quick march, left, right, left.
"The process of erosion.
Erosion is the cumulative effect...
of a great variety of processes."
Full stop.
"In general, these can be divided into five groups.
One
River erosion
Two
Rain erosion
Three
Glacial erosion
Four
Wind erosion
And five
Marine erosion
Life also cooperates in the work of destruction.
One
rivers and their valleys."
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...
I give you my heart and my soul.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...
I give you my body and blood.
Jesus, Mary, and Joseph...
assist me in my last agony.
May I say, when I am dying...
"Jesus, mercy. Mary, help."
In the name of the Father and of the Son...
and of the Holy Ghost...
amen.
Hello, Mrs. Davies.
All right, Mrs. Simon?
-You bored? -Just knackered.
I saw right to the back of your throat then.
Did you have a nice day?
Yeah. I really enjoyed myself.
Oh, go on, put the lights on.
Oh, it's duck-apple night!
Did you have a nice time then, Bud?
-Yeah. -That's good, isn't it?
I'll bet you went on everything, didn't you?
No. I tried the big wheel
Did you feel a bit sick?
Yeah.
I went on the waltzers.
I went on them with Jean. You know Jean?
Well, we had a big candy floss.
Did you have a candy floss?
Good night, Bud.
Gosh, Miss Esther...
I hope I'm not too presumptuous...
for you don't need any beauty sleep.
What a nice compliment.
How does it go?
How does what go?
"Over the banister leans a face...
tenderly sweet...
and...and..."
Beguiling
Nobody only those eyes of brown
Tender and full of meaning
Gaze on the...
The loveliest face
In town
Over the banister
Leaning
My Jesus...
it is the weight not of the cross...
but of my sins...
which has made thee suffer so much pain.
By the merits of this first fall...
deliver me from the misfortune
of falling into mortal sin.
I love thee, Jesus...
my love above all things.
I repent with my whole heart of having offended thee.
Never permit me to separate myself from thee again.
Grant that I may love thee always...
and then do with me what thou wilt.
Glory be to the Father...
and to the Son...
and to the Holy Ghost...
as it was in the beginning...
is now...
and ever shall be...
world without end, amen.
Come on, hurry up.
We all know what you're trying to hide.
Out on the briny
With a moon big and shiny
Melting your heart of stone
I'd like to get you
On a slow boat to China
All to myself alone
Who's this?
"I'm Attila-Attila the Hun."
Esther Williams.
Oh, you bastard!
Edna, tell him to behave.
People have been strangled for less, haven't they?
Want a drink, girl?
In a minute. I'm going for a twinkle.
-Save one for me. -Oh, shut it.
It's perishing out there.
Bongo, bongo, bongo, I don't wanna leave the Congo.
Oh, no, no, no, no,
Isn't that singing bleeding terrible?
Like an ollie in a bottle.
Bingo, bangle, bungle
I'm so fond of the jungle I refuse to go
Choke him, somebody.
Now, Curly, behave yourself.
Otherwise Edna will give you 40 lashes.
That'd be an incentive, wouldn't it, love?
In for a bevvy?
You're all right, John. Me Judy'll get me one up.
You've had enough. You can't have just one drink.
You've got to get palatic.
Aw, go on, girl.
Be nice.
Nice to be nice. People are people.
They're not grapefruit, are they?
God help him. He's in a world of his own.
"World"? Mm!
I don't want to die. I'm a Yankee Doodle dandy.
Stop doing those stupid bleedin impressions.
Otherwise, wooden overcoat. Savvy?
See here, kid, no one...
-Oh, shut up, bleeding screwball!
I'll leave the nighttime
To the dreamers
I'll leave the songbird
To the blind
I'll leave the moon above
To those in love
When I leave this world behind
When I leave this world
Behind
That was me mam's song, that.
Come on, girl. You give us one.
I don't know why I love you like I do
I don't know why I just do
I don't know why you thrill me like you do
I don't know why I just do
You never seem to want my romancing
The only time you hold me is when we're dancing
I don't know why I love you like I do
I don't know why I just do
Come on. Our Bud now.
We're a couple of swells
We stop at the best hotels
And we prefer the country
Far away from the city smells
Wall Street bankers are we
With plenty of currency
We'd open up the safe
But we forgot where we put the key
The Vanderbilts are waiting at the club
But how are we to get there That's the rub
That's the rub
We would sail up the avenue
But we haven't got a yacht
We would ride up the avenue
But the horse we got was shot
We would ride on the trolley car
but we haven't got the fare
So we'll walk up the avenue
Yes, we'll walk up the avenue
Yes, we'll walk up the avenue till we're there
You're always saying I never take you anywhere. We'll go to the dance.
The Grafton's for bits of kids. We're too old.
You're as old as you feel.
Look, you may think you're Peter Pan, but I'm not bleeding Wendy.
We're not going.
Yes, Edna. No, Edna. Three bags full, Edna.
Where's me jacket? It's cold.
What's happening?
Get your arms in.
Me tiny hand is frozen.
If it was any bigger, it'd have frostbite.
Oh, you beautiful doll
You great big beautiful doll
Whatever you do, Helen, don't get married.
You might end up with someone like this soft bastard.
-Let me put my arms above you -Button it!
Good night, you two.
-I could never live without you. -Don't you stay up too late.
Lock up, will you, Kev?
Okay, Mam.
That's Mr. Yates.
He's got cancer.
Come on, Bud. Time for mass.
Okay, Mam.
See you later, Albie.
Okay.
Are you going to Cast Iron Shore, Kev?
No, Woolton Woods.
Can I go with you?
I haven't got a bike, Bud, lad.
Well, will you bring me some pears back, then?
Yeah.
Can I have a bit of your drink, Kev?
You won't like it.
Aw, it's horrible!
Told you you wouldn't like it.
-Watch the car. -Look both ways, Jean.
Can't I come with you?
Oh, go on, let me.
Don't forget the pears.
That was Ray's a Laugh, with Kitty Bluett...
Kenneth Connor, Laidman Brown, Rosalind Knight,
and starring Ted Ray.
This recorded program was written by Bernard Botting and Charles Hart...
and produced by Leslie Griffiths.
Holy, holy, holy
And in pulpit, talking interminable nonsense...
the Reverend Lord Henry D'Ascoyne.
The D'Ascoynes certainly appear...
to have accorded with the tradition of the landed gentry...
and sent the fool of the family into the church.
Please stand.
Get into line.
Turn.
Good night, boys.
-Good night, sir. -Off you go.
You're a shower, an absolute shower.
There's no other word for it.
And you, Windrush, you're an absolute rotter.
Come on, let's go.
Aren't you goin' to the pictures?
I've got no one to go with.
What about Albie?
He's just gone past with John Hughes.
Can't you run after them and ask can you go with them?
If I had my life to live over,
I would still do the same things again
I would still love to roam
To that place I call home
Where happiness never would end
I'd meet you when school days were over
And we'd walk down the lanes
We once knew
If I had my life to live over again
I would still fall in love
With you
And now it came at last:
George Amberson Minafer had got his comeuppance.
He got it three times filled...
But those who had so longed for it were not there to see it...
and they ne ver knew it.
Those who were still living...
had forgotten all about it...
and all about him.
"Four
wind erosion
The waters of the seas readily respond by movement...
to the brushing of the wind over the surface...
to the variations of temperature and salinity...
to the gravitational attraction of the moon and sun...
and to the Coriolis force.
A-tides and currents."
Do you know what that is?
There?
It's a great cake, a bride-cake.
Mine!
On this day of the year, long before you were born...
this heap of decay was brought here.
It and I have worn away together.
Mice have gnawed at it...
and sharper teeth than teeth of mice...
have gnawed at me.
And I have a fancy I should like to see someone play.
Play.
What did you get for Christmas, Albie?
A cowboy outfit and a Bren gun.
Our Kevin bought me a watch.
Some of those stars are dead.
The light from them started out when Jesus was alive.
How do you know?
Our teacher said.